PIRATE BILL & THE CRAP ON MY DRESSER: A TALE OF WTF
The afternoon sun caressed Pirate Bill’s cheek as he grabbed the chicken by the feet and aimed it at Fork, then Spoon eying which was the better target. “They’re running away too quickly,” he cursed under his breath.
Pirate Bill yearned to jump from the Japanese Department Store roof onto one of the two giant wooden elephants, but he was afraid of plummeting to his death, or worse still, getting trampled by the great beasts.
Then Pirate Bill looked down and saw the yellow duck swimming on a wooden pond, in between boulders and a coffee mug filled with shells.
That was when it hit him. Something was not right.
Glancing over his left shoulder Pirate Bill could just make out a spotted mushroom, and suddenly everything made sense. “Oh! I’m a figurine on Adrienne’s dresser.”
He sighed a breath of relief, then a wave of hate washed over him. What the fuck was he doing on top of a Japanese Department Store on Adrienne’s dresser, holding a chicken next to a Fork, Spoon, Duck, Mushroom and Two Elephants!? “Learn how to interior decorate, you bitch!” Pirate Bill shouted in anger. “Yarrrr.”
